The Newbie

I witnessed something very refreshing today on the morning Express bus: Someone who had never taken a Metro bus.

When I have to go someplace new by bus, especially to the Eastside or somewhere I'm unfamiliar with, I get nervous. I check my itinerary often. Both Metro and SoundTransit have online Trip Planners that allow you to plan your routes and print an itinerary. I love SoundTransit itineraries because they tell you exactly how many stops there are to your destination. You can do a little countdown on your trip.

Anyway, at the last stop before the freeway, a woman in her mid-20's got on. Let's call her Lisa. She was a little above-average looking and very excited. Nervous, yet excited. It was clear that she'd never ridden a Metro bus before. Lisa's innocence was so invigorating alongside the boring Express bus regulars. There were some sketchy guys sitting in the rear forward facing seats; Lisa had fearlessly walked right past them and straight to the last empty seat on the bus - right next to me in the back.

Lisa had her arms resting on her purse, and in her left hand was the Metro itinerary. Her transfer was folded neatly, held against the itinerary with her thumb.

I peeked at her itinerary, which had her getting off at 4th and University and transferring to another bus at Pike Street. I was familiar with the route she was taking up to Capital Hill. Really, she could have gotten off at 6th & and University and walked past Niketown, but I couldn't tell her so. I couldn't admit that I checked out her itinerary. That'd be creepy. I wouldn't want to ruin her bus ride.

Lisa sat very upright the whole way to town. She reminded me of the bright, studious kid in class on the first day that was so excited to be out of the house. She was looking out the windows, glancing at her itinerary, checking her watch, studying her transfer. I wanted to talk to her just to share her excitement, but I resisted.

I also wanted to tell her about this blog, but decided against it. After all, I knew the minute I enjoyed the otherwise boring bus ride vicariously through her, she'd end up on the blog. First-Time Rider Enthusiasm is busworthy.

When we approached downtown, the LED signs lit up "6th & University" and the Robot Lady announced the stop over the speakers. This was Lisa's cue to do exactly what I do with my itinerary: Check it to see if the stop listed is the one Robot Lady just announced. Then check the LED signs, repeat checking itinerary. Look outside, the check the itinerary. It was adorable to see Lisa do it.

Lisa was on a mission. Nothing could stop her. At least for the next two hours until her transfer ran out.

Police Activity on the 150 - The Highlighter Incident

Caution: This post contains rough language, violence, and racial nastiness. Mature audiences only.

I really wanted to get the 4:03 150 from Convention Place, but I missed it. Sometimes things happen for a reason. The reason I missed that 150 was so I could take the next one and have a damned fine busworthy post for my dear readers. It was pure fate.

I need to give you some background. Remember the blog post a while back about the hair brusher? Here you go: The Brushing. Becky and Eddie were on the 150 this afternoon. They got on the 150 with me at Convention Place. They aren't bad people by any means, but they are quite rough around the edges. They've both been homeless, Eddie has a felony on his record, yadda yadda yadda. They're nice enough and mean well, but you really wouldn't want to tangle with them.

When we got on the bus, I sat behind the articulation on the right hand side. Becky sat behind me, and Eddie sat in the seat across from her. Eddie was reading and highlighting a book about accounting. The back door was right behind Becky. I didn't want to sit that far back. It just kind of happened. Again, fate.

Everything was fine until we got to Southcenter Mall. As usual, half the bus got off and was replaced by a new set of people. In that new set of people were a very loud (I mean really loud), rowdy bunch of teenagers. They sat in the back. There was an older guy with them, and he was probably around 21. The crowd back there was comprised of teenaged girls trying really hard to be gangsta, a guy wearing glasses frames with no lenses, and the older guy. There were like nine of them.

So the posse gets on and proceeds to run around in the back of the bus, yelling at each other, falling around, laughing, having a good old time. I turned my iPod up to drown them out, but then I realized I could get some blog material out of it and paused it, earbuds in. Becky, on the other hand, was getting irritated with them. Eddie was ignoring them.

A few miles down the road, Becky turns around and says very politely, "Hey, could you guys please keep it down?"

Bad move. Everyone had a response to this.

"Bitch, don't tell us to keep it down."

"Shut up, you fat white bitch!"

"Dirty fat white bitch telling us to be quiet? Fuck you!"

So, please let me preface the rest of the post with this: I have no judgment on anyone. Gender, color, whatever -- it really doesn't matter to me. The kids in the back were African American. Becky and Eddie are caucasian. There was a terrified set of two old Japanese ladies sitting in the back, surrounded by the kids.

The kids didn't quiet down at all. In fact, they turned on some music. "Bitch betta have my money!" one of the girls sang loudly. (I haven't heard that since the early 90s. Those kids are going old school.) Becky, now irritated by the noise and the music, did the unthinkable. She got up, walked the aisle, and told the driver they were being rude.

The driver calmly made an announcement over the intercom: "Attention. Those of you who are playing loud music need to put on some headphones or turn it off. Let's all abide by Metro's rules so we can all ride comfortably. Thank you."

Oh God.

"Snitch!"

"Oh my God, that fat bitch just told on us."

"Oh, uh uhhh!"

Becky listened to them for a few minutes. They were feeding off each other back there, getting madder and more insulting to her. She finally turned around and it was ON.

Becky: "Hey, well, maybe if you'd shut the fuck up like I kindly asked you I wouldn't have said anything to the driver."

Kid: "Bitch, don't you tell me what to do."

Kid: "Turn around and mind your own business, fat white bitch."

Older Guy: "Snitch! Turn your bitch ass around!"

Becky: "Fuck you, dude!"

(Everyone was yelling at this point, so I'll try to focus in on the important points.)

Older Guy: "Fuck YOU, bitch. I outta come over there and sock you."

Eddie: [Turns around in his seat.] "FUCK YOU!"

Older Guy: "Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it, bitch? You want some of this?"

Eddie: [Shakes head and faces forward.]

Becky: "Fuck you all. What's your fucking problem?"

Driver, calmly over intercom: "Let's all calm down back there. I don't want any problems."

Older Guy: "You don't talk to me like that."
Becky: "I'll talk to you however I want."

Eddie: "Leave her alone!"

Older Guy: "Fuck you, bitch!"

By now, I've taken off my iPod and turned around. Everyone on the bus has turned around except the older Japanese ladies, frozen in fear. The Older Guy has gotten up and is standing by the back door, right behind Becky, and is yelling at the back of her head. The kids are all standing up, the younger guy is standing up, and the bus had stopped. This is all happening less than three feet away from me.

Eddie: "Dude, just sit down and shut the fuck up."

Older Guy: "Don't tell me what to do you nigga. You white nigga bitch boy."

Driver, calmly over intercom: "I'm going to call the police."

Just then, as Eddie turned around to face forward, something hit him in the back of the head hard enough to knock his glasses off and into my leg. He had tried to stay out of it all, but was now infuriated. He jumped up and lunged toward the back for the Older Guy. Becky pulled him back and he couldn't make it past the girls between them. There were people everywhere, and everyone was shouting.

CHAOS!

Driver, calmly over intercom: "I'm calling the police now."

Girl: "I ain't afraid of no police."

Eddie: "That's it. I'm going to kick your ass!"

Older Guy: "Oh really? Let's go."

Becky went back up to the driver, announcing the whole time that she had a knife and would protect herself, and asked the driver loudly to call the cops. She pulled out her cell phone on the way back and started calling them herself.

Younger Guy: "Come on, lets go. You want some, white nigga?"

Eddie: "What the fuck? How am I a nigga?"

Older Guy: "You got a weapon?"

Eddie: "I have a highlighter, man."

Girl: "That white boy's got a weapon! I ain't afraid of him!"

Older Guy: "So you're going to threaten a kid with a weapon?!"
Eddie: "I never threatened him. And I have a highlighter. Fuck off!"

Girl: "He said he had a weapon!"
Becky: "No, I have a weapon. He doesn't have one"

Older Guy: "Sit the fuck down. I outta sock you."

Becky: "You know what? Fucking do it. Hit me."

Older Guy: "I outta sock you, bitch!"

They went back and forth about socking each other at least ten times. Eddie faced foward again, only to be hit in the back of the head with a basketball, thrown very hard by the younger guy. He threw his books down, along with his mighty highlighter, and stood up again to fight them all.

Eddie: "Get the fuck off the bus!"

Older Guy: "What you stand up for? You gonna fight me or just talk shit?"
Eddie: "You're the one talking shit to my wife about how you're going to sock her. You shut the fuck up."

The Kent Police arrived and came in through the back door. They pulled all of the kids and the Older Guy from the bus. Everyone on the bus was in shock. Eddie and Becky discussed the goings on, while other people on the bus were waiting. And we waited. And waited. People in the front were getting pissed. They turned to the back and voiced their displeasure.

Misplaced professionally dressed woman: "You've made us all late. Some of us have to get to work!"

Becky: "It's not my fault. They started it!"
Misplaced professionally dressed woman: "Well are you going to support me when I get fired for being late?"

Becky: "I'm sorry!"
Man with safari hat from the weekday Express buses: "No! I want all of you off the fucking bus!! You're fucking us all!!"

Becky: "Well if those damned kids weren't so fucking rude...."

Pissed off African American woman in articulation: "Bitch, you better watch your tone. I'm getting ready to get up and slap you myself."

Becky: "Oh really? Now you want to get in on it?"

Pissed off African American woman in articulation: "Bitch, shut the fuck up."

The woman in the articulation was as calm as Vivica A. Fox in Kill Bill. ("Black Mamba. I should have been motherfuckin' Black Mamba.") I overheard her making an angry call during our wait. She had only gotten one hour of sleep and was still hung over and had just worked an eleven hour shift. That explains why she was pissed. But it doesn't explain how she was still hung over more than eleven hours after drinking -- unless she was drinking heavily when she first started work.

Damn! This was crazy shit going down. The police led the kids and Older Guy back on the bus, then spoke with Becky and Eddie separately. I don't think anyone got tickets, and we all rode off together, so I guess everyone was let off with a warning. The bus was stopped for at least 25 minutes.

As we departed, the driver calmly made an announcement:

"Okay, let's go. I'd like to thank you for that break in my otherwise monotonous day."

A hushed yet very clear response came from the back. "Fuck you!"

I was the last one off the bus. I commented to the driver that it was a very interesting ride. I also told her I had a blog about riding the bus, and she said she did, too. The driver of the 150 has a bus blog!! She wrote down the busworthy address and was very excited about reading it. Driver, if you're reading this, I don't know how you stay so calm and I hope you get a better route soon!